Fernando’s Pranks

I think Fernando is taking this prank war between us a little too far. Now I’ll gladly admit that I was the one who destroyed our front door. I simply wanted to give Fernando a bit of a fright when he got out of his sarcophagus. But I swear I didn’t destroy the window, and now something’s going on with the pipes around the house. Obviously, Fernando is trying to get me back, which is fair enough, but he’s doing it at his own expense. He needs the water working as well (although not necessarily the running water, because that would be very painful).

Gizmo thinks we just need to get boundary trap replacement. In Melbourne this is a pretty common problem, he says. Well, I think Gizmo needs to shut his face. Firstly, I haven’t the slightest clue what a boundary trap is. Secondly, since when were we taking advice from familiars? Ever since Fernando started giving Gizmo days off and extended holidays this house has fallen apart, both figuratively and literally. 

And despite all that, I’ve still got Gizmo blaming me for the blocked drains. Fairfield has plenty of plumbing issues. How is this my fault? Sure, he may have seen me break the front door last week, but I don’t see why that means I’m the culprit here. Why on earth would I want our drains to stop working?

We’re hosting a Superb Owl party later this week and our human guests will need to shower before taking part in the feast, if you know what I mean. Because we are vampires. The whole plan will be ruined if we don’t have a working shower. But Fernando doesn’t enjoy the Superb Owl parties, so he’s trying to sabotage it by ruining the house’s plumbing. He also knows how much I love the Superb Owl feast, so I’m sure he is taking great pleasure in ruining it. I’m onto you, Fernando. 

– Lazarus