I’ll Just Sit Here in My Office, As Normal…

If I had my way, all holiday ads on the train would be banned. No one on a long and sorrowful commute needs to look at a stock-photo family running along the beach in Malta, having a fabulous time. I don’t care how low, low the prices are: most people on that train will NOT be on holiday.

But the advertising must work, because it’s there. At the very least, I need something new in my life. I never take time off because something always seems to demand my attention. Last holiday I had got cancelled because I realised that I promised to dog sit during that time, and before that I can’t even remember. It’s just office, phones, birthday cards, commutes, every day for all time.

And then I come home to watch an episode of Office Makeover, with Sherry Shingles, like I’m subconsciously tormenting myself. That’s where they contact a really good company to take care of their office interior designs, or sometimes other cities if it’s a special edition episode, and they come in on the weekend without telling anyone. Then all the employees come in and their reactions are filmed, because everyone loves a good reaction on the television. They walk through the office, and they’re all impressed because they just didn’t see it coming. They try out their new chairs, jump on the spongy new carpet, and generally just look at all the new and exciting stuff added by this new fitout. I hate it, but I also love it at the same time. It’s a terrible way to be.

I’m just putting this out there, but it’d be super nice if I came back after the weekend and some excellent office fitouts. Melbourne fit out professionals had swept in like a reverse hurricane and made everything look amazing. And it’d also be great if no one filmed anything. I don’t want to have to mug for the camera.