The Electrifying Conclusion!


I was assured that it was going to be a slam-bang season finale on Week of Our Lives, and every single time this happens, I think I’m going to be ready.

Pshh, just a finale. Whatever. I’ve seen a million of them before, this is going to be just another day at the office. Then I SEE the finale, and it’s like…that was several thousand days at the office, and the office just so happens to be located on top of a mountain and it’s actually a ski resort-slash-water-park, and…WOW.

So a new, evil energy tycoon came to Realsville with the intention of starting a nuclear power plant that would drive everyone out of business for…reasons, I guess. He’s just evil. Delia confessed at the town meeting that she’d been calling a Cheltenham professional electrician company for years instead of using Gary, the 92-year-old local electrician that everyone uses, because it takes Gary about sixteen minutes just to get from his car to his van and a couple of days on average to change a plug.

Delia believed that it was her opening up Realsville to outside sources of power that brought down this calamity, and everyone was ready to seize her and lock her in the town stocks for a jolly good pelting with rotten fruit, until Patricia burst into the meeting and revealed that the electricians were entirely innocent. She’d hacked into the email server machine with her touch-typing skills and revealed that Imogenica had been carrying on a steamy digital love affair with the evil tycoon, and it was her who tipped him off to the massive reserves of nuclear energy in the town’s abandoned quarry mine, and the episode ended with Imogenica leaping into a helicopter and laughing as the nuclear mining process begun, and I’m like…wow. I’m never gonna look at any residential electrician the same ever again.

I like how electricians weren’t the bad guys, though. That was one of the things they did get right. I don’t often fact check, but I don’t think that’s where you get nuclear power…