The Insect Nuke, It’s Gonna be Big

Being an inventor is hard, I’ll have you know. There’s no guarantee that you know where the next meal is coming from- or at least, that’d be the case if my Mum and Step-Dad didn’t let me live here rent-free. They’ve been pretty good about my experiments too, although they do keep mentioning that I should get a real job.

A few months ago, I might’ve actually considered it. But now Lawrence Corp has taken off, they have their fingers in every single pie, and so if I can get a patent registered and get them to sell it, then I’m rolling in megabucks.

Currently, I’m working on something that will revolutionise the pest control industry, and that reminds me, I need to call a pest inspection company near Frankston, and see if they’ll be willing to trial my invention. For free! It has to be Frankston because I lost my MYKI card and I don’t have a car. I guess I could ask Steve, but he’s always busy and he gets annoyed if I ask him for stuff.

So anyway, my invention is called ‘The Insect Nuke’, and I expect one the refinements are finished it’ll be the standard tool of pest controllers and termite inspectors across Australia. Depending on the influence of Lawrence Corp’s marketing division, it might even be rolled out worldwide, but we’ll see. Anyway, you just put a small capsule in each room, apply a drop of water, and the whole thing expands. The chemicals are only strong enough to make a human cough a bit, but insects get wiped out.

Easy, right? The main problem at the moment is the smell, which I’m trying to change from ‘burned tires and used gym towels’ to something more along the lines of ‘vanilla and sandalwood’. Oh, and it also doesn’t really work. I might have killed a fly, but there’s a 20% chance it was already dead. But you just wait. Anyone doing termite control beyond will soon have these strapped to their belts. My invention, one that’ll change pest control worldwide. Definitely!

-Edgar