Wallpaper Job Preferred

“No, thanks,” Maphira said, getting out of the play tube to leave. “I don’t want anything to do with your little resistance.”

The woman lunged forward, grabbing Maphira by the shoulder. “What? Why not? I was so certain you’d be keen to join.”

Maphira shook her head. “Nope. Too much subterfuge. You knew I’d be sympathetic to your cause, yet you made me come to some play cafe and crawl into a tube just to discuss it. Very unprofessional. You also straight up told me that you’re fighting against the Mechanists. What if I was a spy for them? You’d be in so much trouble right now. You guys clearly have no idea what you are doing. Incredibly, you managed to be both too cautious and not cautious enough.”

There were better ways to waste her time than with these fools. Maphira would rather start an online store for ocean wallpaper than help a resistance that was doomed to fail. Also, “the Resistance”, said with importance as if it had a capital R? What was this, the latest trilogy of Space Battles? Those movies weren’t even good.

Thinking about those films brought a sickness to Maphira’s gut. She clenched her fist and resisted the urge to punch something as hard as she could. They were simply crimes against humanity, and she wished that the mega-corporation that had made them would just announce that the whole thing was some sort of expensive, twisted joke. The thought of them being Space Battles canon filled her with such endless rage.

If Maphira had a store for wallpapers, she would have sold no wallpapers with designs from that abysmal trilogy. Sure, she’d offer dinosaur and unicorn wallpaper for Melbourne homes, but nothing from that disgusting trilogy of movies.

The thing was, the first two hadn’t even been that bad. It had started well, if a little derivative of the series’ original film for the sake of nostalgia bait, but she’d truly enjoyed The Fourth Awakens. It had made her feel like a little kid again. The Last Space Wizard had been an absolutely brilliant film – one of her favourite in the Space Battles franchise. 

But dammit, if Rise of the Sky Wizard wasn’t the worst thing she’d ever see, Maphira would spontaneously combust.